Matrimony & Cheese

Something Old, Something New...

2011-04-14T11:50:00.001-04:00

Something Borrowed, Something Blue:

This tradition is followed all the time, but why? The consensus is that "something old" represents a brides past and keeps her tied to it and the family she grew up in. A locket or other jewelry from Grandma in the bride's bouquet would be a good example. "Something New" represents the future and good fortune. "Something Borrowed" represents the need for a young couple to have family and friends to rely upon.

Something Blue and the White Wedding Dress:

A common misconception concerning "Something Blue" is that it will cause the couple's first child to be male. Other theories say "Something Blue" represents the color of loyalty and purity. The White Wedding Dress is a relatively recent phenomenon and it's use started in the 15th Century, and only became truly popular in the 19th century.

So, why has white replaced blue as the standard for loyalty and purity? Could there be a connection between the "White Wedding Dress" and the "Something Blue"? The terms "True Blue", and "Blue Blood" have been around since ancient times and they stand for loyalty and royalty. In medieval times, white was the color of peasants. Everybody in the lower classes wore white as it was simply undyed material and cheap. When a peasant girl got married she would wear a colorful, dyed dress, to stunningly stand out. Blue, the color of purity and royalty, would have been very popular with the peasants and very standard with the aristocrats. What peasant bride would not want to be royalty for one day, and what princess would want to wear peasant white?

So, how did the white wedding dress come to be the standard color for a wedding dress. Imagine this; a princess in the year 1550 decides she wants to be different (sounds familiar?). She demands to dress all in white on her wedding day. She fights with her royal mother, just like young women fight with their mothers today. She gets her way, with one condition; The Royal Mother appoves if the Princess agrees to wear "Something Blue".

Throwing Rice and Cutting Cake:

All traditions evolve and change with society. Throwing rice and wedding cake cutting were nothing more than fertility rituals. The wedding cake was originally stacked loaves of bread. The groom would crumble the top loaf over the Brides's head. Fertility was very important in a time when child mortality was a massive concern. Famous musician Mozart's wife Constanze, for example, had only one child that survived, yet she was pregnant most of her 9 years of marriage.

The Best Man and the term Wedding:

The best man was simply the toughest, strongest man the groom could find to help him steal his bride in a time when marriages were arranged for political reasons. In fact the word "Wedding" originates from the word "wedd" which was merely a meeting for the bartering of a woman for monetary or political gain. When the groom stole his love, they would hide for a "Moon" and try to get pregnant while drinking lots of "Mead", a drink made with "Honey". Once they were with child, the family would not want her back. Honeymoons have changed a lot since then.

Many traditions are the result of fear, superstition, and symbology. On the Wedding Day, a Groom was most vulnerable to demons of the air, so he and all his men would dress the same to confuse them. The Bride was suseptible to demons of the earth, so they would roll out an isle runner to protect her.

Many rituals and traditions began as having one meaning, and then evolved to fit the times they were relegated to. Knowing were they came from can put a litte different spin on things.

Dear "Another Pro Photographer",

2010-12-04T07:47:00.001-05:00

I want to thank you for pointing out that, somewhere on my website, I have misspelled "Copyright". I did a quick check and can't find it, but I am sure it is there somewhere or you wouldn't have taken the time to write me at 12:04 this morning from your Fenton, Michigan abode to tell me about it... and question my education because of it. I agree with you. There is no way an educated person would ever misspell any word, let alone "copyright". My only regret is that your phone number of 999-999-9999 seemed to be eroneous, as was your email address of "noneGiven@fake.com". I would have loved to thank you for pointing this out and offered your family a free 8x10 for your trouble.
Again, thank you so much for helping me make my website just a little bit better.

Randy

About Digital Retouching

2010-11-12T11:41:00.003-05:00

We live in an age where names and nouns become verbs. We don't SEARCH for information on the internet, we "Google It". By the same token, the Adobe Program "Photoshop" has itself become a verb... we don't "Edit" or "Enhance" or "Manipulate" an image anymore, we "Photoshop It". I hear this every day... "Can you Photoshop Aunt Marge out of this picture?", or, " Can you Photoshop my brother into this Family Portrait?... he couldn't be there." This is a little misleading. Pros who know their stuff use many excellent programs in conjunction with Photoshop to do their magic. Don't get me wrong, Photoshop is a marvelous program. It's power comes from years of improvements and updates. Adobe listens to it's customers and comes out with a newer, more powerful version just about every year, sometimes twice a year. Photoshop is a terrific tool for the creative soul, but it comes with a lot of baggage. Like any tool, it is, at it's creative heart, just a tool. Some people use this tool to create wildly beautiful images and some people use this tool to butcher beautiful images. I spend a good part of every day working with Photoshop, and various other programs, because this is the core, the main engine of Digital Photography. For every project you work on, Photoshop has at least 10 different techniques to acheive the results you are looking for. The trick is to know which one is better than others. Photoshop is at it's best when it is used to enhance great photography, or employ great photography in a grander project. What photoshop cannot do is make great photography out of bad photography. It can improve things somewhat, but that's about it. Retouching the human face is an art. The end result should be a perfect image of the subject that still looks natural. That begins with the photography. Another thing to know about digital photography is that it is not the megapixels that matter, it's the Dynamic Range... it's just easier to sell MEGA(manly) stuff to men.

Just rambling today... any questions?

Wedding Photography Today

2010-10-10T11:27:00.003-04:00

I spent some time on the Digital Wedding Forum this morning. The Digital Wedding Forum is a website for Professional Photographers... Primarily Wedding Photographers. The biggest thread ever is going on there now having to do with Denis Reggie (A Very Famous Photographer) throwing his hand in with Bella Photography(A National Wedding Mill). There are almost 1000 posts on this subject and the subject of Wedding Mills. In case you do not know what a Wedding Mill is, there are several in our area. They offer multiple services from one provider... but their true strength is that they are powerful marketing companys that operate on the theory that if they book the weddings the photographers, and other professionals will have to follow. They are large and powerful when it comes to resources and marketing. I know exactly how this works as I was employed for 22 years recruiting and training photographers for one of these companies. I am now an independant and enjoy photography again like I did when I first picked up a camera. A lot of my photographer friends used this company for volume, a stepping stone to their own businesses, or to fill in dates they were not booked. Many are out there now doing their own thing and being sucessful, many more did not and are completely dependant on the sub-wages they earn as contractors. One company I know of even requires contractors to cover company liabilities. I really can't say a lot of bad things about these companies, they provide work for some talented people who lack the ability or desire to market themselves, but I will say that the most important positions in them are in the sales and marketing departments. I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Shannon and Nick

2010-10-10T10:46:00.007-04:00

Shannon, Nick, and I spend a couple hours last Sunday doing their Engagement Photos at Wahby Park at the Blossom Heath. We had a great time. This couple is so nice, so sincere, and such a wonderful match that it is hard to describe. All 160 of their engagement photos are online, but you will need a paswsword to see them... so I am sharing the following images:

Back to the Blog

2010-10-10T10:42:00.002-04:00

Well, I've been gone a long time. I must appologize. My website was looking more and more like a blog, so I have revamped it to a more professional, business look and will put all the Blog type posts here on the Blog where it belongs. I have no idea how I got so far off the track, but I am jumping back on and will build a business facebook page as well.

Nicole and Eric August 15th, 2009

2009-05-30T10:21:00.006-04:00

Sometimes the news is so bad, and we get so caught up in it, that it's easy to forget that life is just an adventure. Young people are still falling in love, making commitments and looking to the future with confidence and joy. Nicole and Eric are a prime example. Last Sunday we spent a couple hours together talking wedding plans and taking engagement photos. These two are very much in love... if you can't see it in their faces, you're not looking.

We met at Good Shepard Lutheran Church, then proceded to Wahby Park at the Blossom Heath in St Clair Shores, then spent the last few minutes at the Gazebo on Lake St Clair... Behind Jefferson Marine. The weather was a little gray with a few sprinkles here and there, but the photos turned out very nice anyway.

The future of our country is still in good hands as long as wonderful people like Nicole and Eric continue to find each other. Congratulations you two! Nicole is going to be a Beautiful Bride in just a couple months, and Eric... I'm gonna keep making you put that chest out. August 15th will be a grand day to remember.

You can see more of Nicole and Eric's engagement photos in the Gallery section of my website by visiting www.indishphoto.com and clicking on the Gallery link.

Nichole and Matt April 25th, 2009

2009-05-02T09:46:00.004-04:00

If you spend 30 years meeting and photographing Brides and Grooms, you can't help but develop a sense of good and bad relationships. Lately I've been blessed with some really incredible couples and Nichole and Matt are no exception. These two are positively giddy with each other. The sincerity and joy they felt with each other was almost blinding and it was hard to not get caught up in the pure excitement of this couple's relationship. They were married on a sweltering, stormy day, yet that did not bother them in the least little bit. I believe this couple will be celebrating their 50th anniversary in about 50 years. Good luck you two. Stay in Love, but more importantly... stay Best Friends.

You can see Nichole and Matt's Music Video on my website in the Music Video/Weddings section. Just go to www.indishphoto.com and enjoy this wonderful couple on their Wedding Day.
Randy

Kelsey and Chris March 20th, 2009

2009-04-02T08:37:00.006-04:00

On the official first day of Spring, Kelsey and Chris were married at Heritage Park in Taylor.

Kelsey and Chris are a beautiful, young couple with strong family support and a terrific future ahead of them. Chis was one of the most patient grooms I've ever had, and Kelsey was the furthest thing from a Bridezilla you could ask for. As beautiful as Kelsey was, her little niece and flowergirl, Kylie, was more competition than a bride could want. This little show stopper is one of the stars of a new Music Video on my website... about Flowergirls.

You can see this Video now at http://www.indishphoto.com/ in the Music Video/Wedding section. I am delivering Kelsey and Chris's Music Video today and will wait to post that until they have seen it first. That is only fair, but I will say that this is one of the best Videos I have ever made. I used some photo's from their Engagement sitting last winter and mixed them with the Wedding photos. The engagement photo's and wedding photo's were shot in the same park which gave me some opportunities to mix the two in a very creative way. You can see some of their engagement shots elsewhere in this Blog. I hope they enjoy this Show as much as I enjoyed making it. I will let you know as soon as their Video is posted to my site... hopefully by tomorrow.

Great Wedding! You two look terrific together... When things get tough, and they do for everyone, pop your video in the DVD Player and remember all the feelings you had this day.
Randy

Jaclyn and John

2009-03-01T15:49:00.002-05:00

Jaclyn... you are as courageous as you are beautiful. I enjoyed photographing your wedding and I think you did a wonderful job with it. I thoroughly admire you for keeping your bright personality and positive outlook on life and everything that goes with it... This was a very special wedding for me.. one I will always remember.
Jackie is working her way through life and has struggled with a debilitating disease that makes every day a challenge.. but as you can see she is married to a very handsome and loving man and has there ever been a more beautiful bride... I don't think so. Good luck to you both... you deserve nothing but the best life can offer.

Vicky and Tony... Valentine's Day Wedding

2009-03-01T13:00:00.005-05:00

Vicky and Tony are a couple who spent all their lives looking for each other... and it shows all over their faces. The nice thing about being a Wedding Photographer is that you get to know so many really wonderful people. This is a match made in Heaven and everyone who knows them or worked with them could not help but feel the genuine, mature love they have for each other. Everything went smoothly from the Full Mass Ceremony at St Louis Church to the terrific atmosphere and meal at Tina's Country House. Good luck you two, but I don't think you'll need it.. you have everything it takes to keep this long awaited and wonderful relationship alive.

Catch Vicky and Tony's Music Video on my website at http://www.indishphoto.com/

Michigan Man

2009-02-19T11:17:00.004-05:00

I have just posted a new video called Michigan Man on my website. You can check it out at Randy Indish Photography in the Music Videos/Life section. This is a fun memorial to my Brother Rick, who left us way before his time. He just missed seeing his first Grandson, Tyler, by a few months. You can see Tyler's first year video here as well. Rick was a unique person. Everyone who knew him, loved him. He was a true outdoorsman, hunting, fishing, flying... even Dirt Bike Riding and Motocross were very special activities for him. He was also a character... he seemed to have No-Fear of anything. When my family talks about Rick the stories come fast, furious and funny. In the picture above Rick is showing me his new "BassBoat".

The last two years of his life, he and I were re-bonding and he loved going with me on my Bass Boat. For a couple summers we had some great times flying across Lake St Clair with our hair on fire and catching those big, beautiful, smallmouth bass. The last week we spent together saw us out on Saginaw Bay... Sagnasty Bay to fishermen... where we hit a rock and did $4000 damage to my lower unit.. then we went up north where we were using my underwater camera and promptly chopped the very expensive cable with the prop... but still, those are great memories and I am so glad that life had brought us back together at last. I'd happily give another $4000 just to spend one more day with him. Sometimes it seems you get caught up in life and loose track of what's truly important. Rick reminded us all. I have to stop typing now as I'm starting to make myself a little misty... but it's a good misty.

Jackie and Douglas

2009-02-11T08:50:00.004-05:00

Jackie and Douglas were married in Farmington Hills at the City Hall on Friday, February 6th. The ceremony was performed by the Mayor. This is a very nice, extremely happy couple. Jackie made a beautiful bride.. very delicate features and a beautiful smile.

Douglas is a mountain of a man. I had to stand on my tip toes to get him in frame... and have him shrink a little on these shots with Jackie. Like a lot of big men he is a gentle giant and you can see in his eyes that Jackie is the light of his life. I wish you two the best of luck in everything you do and thank you for letting me be your photographer.

Kelsey and Chris

2009-02-02T11:57:00.006-05:00

Kelsey and Chris will be married on March 20th, 2009. We spent a little time in the bitter cold doing a few engagement photos. My fingers got so cold carrying my Nikon around the park that they actually ached... but we got some really different shots that only the adventurous among us would attempt. With aching fingers, runny noses, and a bright winter sun we have some nice shots of this handsome couple. A terrific funloving couple, as you can see, with wonderful parents. March 20th will be a blast.. I just hope old man winter is gone by then. Congratulations Kelsey and Chris!

Michigan in Photographs

2009-01-16T21:30:00.012-05:00

This slideshow is a take on the one I posted on my website on the Gallery Page. Everything I love and love to do is in here. I've added some and removed some from the website so you might want to see both go to http://www.indishphoto.com/gallery.shtml to see the original.. with Music. I've added a lot of fishing shots here . You can see how beautiful Lake St Clair is... and the fishing is terrific. I know it's hard for a lot of people in this country to see anything beautiful about Michigan or especially the Detroit Area. For those of you who have never ventured out on the lakes, or have never really visited Michigan and have this horrible image of our state.. you are in for a shock. We have beautiful scenery, wildlife galore, breathtaking fall colors, water everywhere, a sunrise side and a sunset side, wonderful people, and yes... even hummingbirds.

We are in a crisis. Our hardworking people are having a very difficult time right now, but the core of our citizens are resilient, energetic, creative, and will eventually pull this state up by it's bootstraps and get it on the right road. We will not give in, we will not give up.. it is in our nature to perservere. I pulled this quote from Mike (Michigan Man) Ridley's My Space page.. I think it says it all:

Life is merely an ongoing series of efforts, more than likely connected by one of two things: the need to make a living or the desire to make a change. Stay in the game because only you can determine its outcome. -Mike Ridley (Michigan Man)

Rachel & Patrick, January 3, 2009

2009-01-08T15:16:00.006-05:00

Congratulations Rachel and Patrick! Such a beautiful bride, flawless skin, bubbly personality, and a bright, warm, smile.... no wonder Patrick loves her so much. Patrick is a member of the 82nd Airborne, the All American regiment. He will be returning to Afghanistan for his second tour shortly. I have to say, what an impressive young man he is. Our soldiers are the absolute greatest and we should thank them every chance we get. Thank you Patrick, take care, and come home soon and safely to your beautiful and loving bride.
Watch for more of Rachel and Patrick on my website at http://www.indishphoto.com/ soon.

2008-12-24T13:10:00.008-05:00

Congratulations Danielle and Clint! Danielle and Clint were married at the Detroit Yacht Club on Belle Isle, on Friday December 19th. It was a nasty day weather wise, snow flying, icy roads, and accidents everwhere. Danielle and Clint along with their hardy guests kept their natural good spirits and had a blast anyway. Danielle, Clint, family and guests have proven that you can have a really nice wedding in Michigan, in a snow storm. The surprising part is that it was actually a lot of fun.. an adventure and something that will be talked about for many, many years.

Watch for much more of Danielle and Clint on my website at http://www.indishphoto.com/

My Website Updated

2008-12-14T20:46:00.002-05:00

I've finally managed to put up the first Album Design. You can check it out on my website in the Album Designs link. I've been a lot busier than I expected, but I'll have a lot more up soon. This design is 40 spreads long in 12x12 format... that means the spreads are 12x24. I really love the Designed Albums, they tell a story much better than the traditional matted albums.
www.indishphoto.com

Matrimony & Cheese - Choosing a Reception Hall

2008-12-09T12:18:00.008-05:00

The portion of any wedding that everyone looks forward to is the Reception. That should not be a surprise to anyone, and most Brides and Grooms work very hard and start very early in making a Hall selection. Some halls are so popular that you would have to book them as much as a year and a half ahead... and for special dates like July 7, 2007 (7/7/07), even further ahead. What makes these halls so popular? What makes a good hall? What is a Bride looking for? What is a Groom looking for?
A long time ago I was standing on a lakeshore, in a park, with a couple of bridesmaids. We were waiting for the Bride, Groom, and the rest of the wedding party to exit the limo and prepare themselves for an outdoor photography session between the Church and the Reception. The girls went on and on about how beautiful the scene was and how wonderful the pictures would be. This is natural for the ladies. As for me, I had been here many times before, I had measured the light and planned the shoot like all professionals should... but.. I kept wondering to myself what kind of fish just might be in this beautiful body of water. Now, I am a guy, and I think like a guy. It's not that I can't appreciate beauty for beauty's sake, it's just that fishing is built into most of my gender. As we were standing there two of the groomsmen showed up and I heard the one speak to the other saying "Man, there is some terrific Smallmouth Bass fishing out there.. I'll have to take you out here sometime!" I had an epiphany at that moment. Suddenly I understood life like I had never understood it before. I understood all there was to know about the birds, the bees, and the battle of the sexes. It's all about priorities.
What does this have to do with choosing a hall? Well, everything. The bride will be looking for beauty, for potential, for ambience. The Groom will be looking for Good Food. A Reception Hall with a sweeping staircase, a stone fireplace, or an outdoor garden will catch the Bride's eye every time. The Groom will want to know what the food is like. Pretty simple.

So, what should they, as a couple, be looking for? All of the above and a few things they probably won't consider.

Once your reception hall choices have been narrowed down, here is a few things you should take into consideration:

Acoustics

What is the level of "White Noise". "White Noise" is that constant buzz you hear just over your head that's more annoying than a screaming 2-year-old. When you visited the hall was it during a Reception? Could the guests talk comfortably without leaning in and shouting? Some halls are like empty cans. Music sounds tinny and guests get worn out early and they don't even know why. "White Noise" is a Reception Killer.

Service

When you visited the hall was it a sitdown dinner, family style, or buffet? Was the dinner served in a timely manner or did it take hours to finish the meal and get the clearing done? Dinner should not be rushed, but it should not take a huge chunk of your time either. Switching gears from dinner to party should be painless for you and your guests.

If you have helpful and polite servers, a well kept hall, clean restrooms, management that does not hide in an office, and a time management system that runs smoothly without being pushy, you will have found a hall that the owner or owners take pride in and you will have great service. Watch for these signs as well as ambience (White Noise will kill ambience as soon as the party starts) when visiting.

Price

Prices should be reasonable, but not cheap. Spending too little will save you money, but that's about it. You will wish you had paid a little extra to not have that headache the next day. If dinner starts at 7 and you don't have your first dance until 10, you have just had a problem. You get what you pay for, but don't get ripped off at the same time. Same rule goes for hiring a photographer, or any other vendor by the way.

A personal Note: My Favorite Halls

There a quite a few halls in my area that are great buys... good prices, great service, and/or unique ambience. Gino's Surf is great and getting better every day, Blossom Heath is unique, Lakeland Manor, Barrister Gardens, Fern Hill Country Club, all come to mind, but, I do have a favorite in the moderately priced, extemely well managed, terrific food, good acoustics, and really nice people catagory. Tina's Country House. This is not an ad for Tina's, this is my opinion based on my personal experience. I have been there hundreds of times and this hall is always on top of their game with constant upgrades, a beautiful, well kept garden with service and food beyond reproach. One really nice thing about Tina's is that it really is a "Country House". It's out there far enough that it's quiet, and peaceful. If you are having your wedding outdoors in the garden they even have a magic rosary that keeps the rain away... I've seen it work. I would love to hear comments. What's your favorite hall... why?

When choosing a hall look at the big picture... the total package... and your budget. Even when the Music's playing you should still be able to have a comfortable conversation. After all isn't a wedding a great time to renew kinship and old aquaintances? Shouting at each other all night won't do.

Recent Weddings

2008-11-28T16:40:00.002-05:00

The Truth About Memories - Matrimony and Cheese

2008-11-22T10:12:00.008-05:00

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. -The Wonder Years

There is one thing you can always count on when it comes to weddings... something will go wrong. Maybe not horribly wrong, but every bride has her own personal threshold of acceptable snafu's. For some, waking up with a zit on the morning of the wedding can just about ruin the whole day. For others, it would take a sizable earthquake to shake them up. The former being deep in the Bridezilla class, the latter a Dream Bride. Whatever your threshold may be, suffice it to say that something will go wrong and there is nothing you can do about it. There is no such thing as a perfect wedding. We are all only human after all and few of us are involved in wedding planning enough to be all that much of an expert. The thing to remember and hold onto, is the fact that it is the things that go wrong, the big and the small things, that will be remembered. The perfect wedding would be absolutely boring. Eventually, all the anxiety, worry, difficulties, and stress end up as blended, beautiful memory. Memories are a lifelong collection of moments that require a little bit of bitter to enhance the sweet. Can you imagine the following conversation:

Mary: "So how was the wedding?"
Sally: "Oh, it was perfect.. not a thing went wrong and the weather was beautiful."
Mary: "Nice. So, feel like checking out the sales at the mall?"

Now imagine the same conversation where the Groom and the Best man had to have their stomachs pumped because of a bad breakfast, the minister got your names wrong because you were the 3rd wedding that day and he simply got confused, or the bride and groom get in a car accident 2 days before the wedding and both are all but incapacitated. Sounds horrible, doesn't it.. it was. But imagine the conversations years later.

Memories are funny things. When a loved one passes away, the memories become vivid, and they always turn to those events that were bad when they happened, but time gave them a funny twist and a special place in our hearts so we will not forget. It works the same way with weddings. It's the flawed wedding that holds all the memories... the laughter years after. If something doesn't go at least a little bit wrong, there will be nothing to talk about later. The single most important thing to do on the day of your wedding is to have fun... period. So, relax, plan as best you can, but don't take it personally if something in the plan falls apart.. that's just God putting a little bookmark on your life.

Anybody else know this guy?

2008-11-12T20:16:00.000-05:00

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) but thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch inch circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE CRAP!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor..
A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my gonads and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.

Matrimony & Cheese - tip: Tuxedos

2008-11-09T09:19:00.007-05:00

A lot of men have a bit of trouble with tuxedos. It's not their fault, they are just men and some need a little help in this department. Here's a couple things I ran into just last weekend:

Try your tux on as soon as you get it home.. the day of the wedding is often too late to correct errors... like fit or missing or broken accessories. Tuxedo shops are pushed to the limit around High School Prom and Homecoming time. This is especially important if your wedding is at these times.

Tuxedos come with a card full of Studs and Cufflinks. The studs are used in place of the shirt buttons by a hole above the button. Use the studs when you are wearing a bow tie or Collar Stud. Cufflinks are used by pinching the cuffs together and putting the Cufflink through from the outside... not overlapped as cuff buttons usually are.

Most tuxedos, if not all tuxedos, have openings inside the front pants pockets to allow you to conveniently reach inside and pull your shirttails down. This is a lot easier and much more elegant than pulling your vest up to your chest and jamming your hand down the front of your pants.

The boutonnieres (lapel flowers) are pinned to your left lapel. Lay the flower on the lapel so the top of the boutonniere is about even with the middle of the knot in the tie, then lift the lapel gently while running the pin through the back horizontally. If you do this correctly you will not be able to see the pin at all from the front, and the boutonniere won't be able to twist. Be very careful with roses as pinching them too hard can pop the rose off it's stem.

It's not easy being a man, girls, it just appears that way. Men are not born with that Social Gene that women seem to have... so be understanding and above all patient.

The traditional long tie can be very handy....

Thanks again Megan and Mike.

Megan and Michael

2008-11-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

Thank you Megan and Michael. What a beautiful day. You know there is something special about Autumn Weddings in Michigan.. when it's nice, it's really nice. Here's a thank you card. Congratulations on your big day.. it went very well.

Matrimony and Cheese 30 years of Wedding Photography

2008-11-05T11:09:00.000-05:00

Matrimony and Cheese. I try very hard to get by without having people say "Cheese", but ultimately I still find myself doing just that. "Matrimony and Cheese" is the title of my book. I've been writing this book for a long time now and using my experiences, good and bad, to offer advice to those Brides who really want to have a beautiful and successful wedding. In 30 years I have seen just about everything that can go wrong and many, many things that can go right. I have an insight that few other's can boast of.
I have photographed thousands of weddings in the Detroit Metropolitan Area and beyond. I have seen more diversity and more changes than almost anyone. I have photographed every culture, every religion, and probably worked in every Church and every Hall in the area.
I will use this Blog to post images, answer questions and give advice .... as well as to thank the many Brides and Grooms who have put up with me all these years... and will put up with me in the future. I am busy working on my new website Photography by Randy... or Randy Indish Photography. I have thought of a few lofty and poetic names, but I think I'll let my work speak for it's artistry, and honor my father and grandfathers by using my own name.